GUILT…we all have had it. How do you deal with your guilt?
Do you struggle with guilt daily? Weekly?
Do you use money as your way to deal with guilt for the events or family time that you miss out on?
This podcast will address how guilt and money seem to go hand in hand with physicians, and frankly, anyone that has a demanding job.
In this podcast you will:
- Find out why people tend to think that money can make up for a lack of quality time
- Discover the ways that Dave has dealt with guilt in the past and why he regrets it
- Determine if you use money or does money use you? (Hint: You may be surprised at your answer)
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Transcription:
I get on the phone with a physician.
He is stressed.
His tone is exasperated. His frustration has been building and building.
I hear the plea in his words.
He feels like he has been juggling ball after ball after ball. Living his circus of a life. Taking care of his patients. Pulling extra shifts and doing locums.
Somehow, fitting in a little bit of time when he can for her caring wife and handful of kids.
He’s up to his eyeballs in debt. House debt. More than six figures of medical school debt. Car debt. Debt for the horses and debt for the hobby farm.
Now, college is coming for his kids. It’s just around the corner…
How did it all come to this?
It’s quite simply really.
He couldn’t say no.
He’s feeling guilty for the soccer games he missed. Feeling guilty for missing the ballet lessons and kid’s orchestra concerts. Feeling guilty for not spending enough time with his wife.
And he’s using money to dress that wound.
He’s certainly not alone. I know of a physician who gave his kids everything under the sun. He was making $600k to $700k in a bad year.
Spending 12 to 14 hours a day in the clinic and then brought charting home afterwards.
He felt so badly, but he couldn’t stop. He loved medicine and he loved treating his patients.
He would bestow and shower his family with material possessions. Beautiful jewelry. Exotic and epic vacations, yet he was never truly present.
They owned multiple homes all across the country and cash flowed through their fingers like water.
Get a new car? Sure, let’s do it! Life is short and that’s one good looking car.
Help a needy family? We’ve been given so much- we can make it happen.
Order expensive hobbies on the internet? We need that family time and this will help us.
They couldn’t say no to one another. They love one another and didn’t want to start another argument.
Life was hard enough.
They’ve been through financial courses after financial course, trying to work through these issues. Trying to find the answer.
However, the money issue was really just the symptom of a deeper problem… a psychological problem.
Guilt.
And money isn’t going to solve that issue.
The heart of both of these physicians are amazing. They give so much to their patients. They give so much to their practices- to the hospital and to the community. Then, with what’s left over, they try as well to give so much to their families.
They are not alone. Many physicians are going through these same emotions and struggling with the guilt.
Are these physicians working with you in the hospital? Or even more so… could this be you?
Protect yourself and your loved ones- address that guilt head on. Find ways to make clinical medicine work for you without compromising your family and finding a semblance of the life you dreamed.
Always ask, “Am I using money… or is money using me? Is there a better way?”
